Tuesday, September 23, 2008

My pity party

I'm really not enjoying this pregnancy. I think that more than anything else makes me determined that this will be my last baby.

First up I copped nine weeks of horrible sickness and exhaustion, to the point where I was barely capable of supervising the kids, let alone doing things like cooking and housework. This was right at the time we were preparing to move as well, so poor D copped all the renos as well as a lot of the housework.

The next part was OK, I started feeling human again at about 14 weeks. My hips started to ache at about 12 weeks and the lurking varicose veins from the last pregnancies all started to swell again. But nothing too bad. People started asking me when I was due, assuming soon, but i'm used to that. I have no decent stomach muscles to hold my belly in firmly.

See what I mean? 26 weeks.


It took until about 23 weeks until my hips and pelvis really started playing up. Now at 27 weeks they hurt constantly, I can't sit/stand/walk or do anything for too long. I can't roll myself over in bed without waking up and doing it in a precise sequence. My pelvis hasn't started coming out of alignment yet, but i'm sure that excruciating little treat is only a few weeks away. That will then mean I can't roll myself over or get out of bed at all-welcome to interrupted sleep for D too as he becomes more like my carer than my husband. My stomach muscles have split apart again and I once again have the very freaky looking herniated belly button. No more stretch marks even though I look full term-then again, there's not much skin left for them to cover after the twins. And my feet are starting to puff up and look like pillows again. I feel so attractive.

The decision on where to give birth has also caused some stress-D wants me to go to the hospital although he's happy to support a homebirth, and I don't know what the hell I want. So apart from a visit to a doctor to get an ultrasound referral I haven't had any pregnancy care. Over the last week i've started to think it's really about time I started to see someone.

I feel sorry for the poor boy i'm carrying-all I do is complain about carting him around. I am looking forward to actually having him and holding him though-I can't wait for that bit. What I can't wait for the most is getting fit and healthy again though. I'm still only about 67 kilos so won't have much to worry about on the weight loss side, but i'm more interested in getting strong and able again. I feel like a useless, breathless lump ATM and i'm totally over it. I think after I have him it will be time to boot camp myself-as i'm the laziest person out it will be hard, but if it's not going to be wrecked by having more kids I think i'll have the motivation.

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